the double wide salon

might be worth giving him a call alvie. i want 5% of the refi though.

3:18pm update
bwaa-haha!!! the McCain campaign appears to have forgotten the rule of holes.  Niiiiice comeback there McCrazy spokesdude: "The reality is they have some investment properties and stuff. It's not as if he lives in ten houses. That's just not the case. The reality is they have four that actually could be considered houses they could use."

Team WFO- DoubleWide Olympic Futbol

Team DoubleWide Kicks Ass!!!!!!!!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

DW- R.I.P.

Speaking of Old Yoga Journals

From the manual gratification dept here at the Twice-As-Wide:

Presentarle Fabricio-

Lead Them Not Into Dilapidation! A Look at the Lovely ORU Campus

  And God Said Unto Him: Go Forth Into the Desert and Gather 20,000 Gallons of Mustard-Colored Paint, Raise Up a Great Temple of Learning, and Then Let It Go All to Hell

Where is all that money going that Oral Roberts Ministries is collecting? Om...upkeep!?! Nah, try another one. Check out this photo spread of Oral Roberts University's custodial deficiencies from LostTulsa.com. It's a great site and it explains why they call Tulsa,"The Jacksonville of the Plains." I've always wondered about that.

I know this post is gonna break Old Elrod's heart, seeing as the stunning ORU architecture is what first inspired him to pick-up a Skill-Saw and a hot-glue gun and shut himself up for days on end in an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town, listening to Pylon (they have new songs and they're touring!) and getting stuff all over his good clothes, but so be it. The truth hurts.

Special Bonus Ruination!!! If you haven't been to Heritage USA lately you're missin' out!!!

Here is my personal favorite ORU building.

The Millligan's Prayer Center

 

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Jerusalem Discovery May Not Be Al Capone's Vault

Disappointed archaeologists and scholars are set to announce that a sealed chamber uncovered in Jerusalem is probably not a secret vault used by legendary gangster Al Capone and is more likely just the burial place of Jesus and his family. "When I first got the call I was pretty excited," said noted Caponaeologist Geraldo Rivera, "But it doesn't look like this place ever belonged to Big Al, Alphonse Gabriel Capone, AKA Scarface. There are three things a Caponaeologist looks for to determine whether a site was a Capone hideout: First, when you start digging you look for a layer of old Racing Forms and a pencil, usually under that you will find a layer of bathtub gin, and, finally, you expect to see some evidence of pottery containing traces of baked ziti or scungilli, usually in a red sauce. This site has none of those tell-tale signs. It's too bad, this could have given us a rare window into how people lived in the 1920's."

In good news for blasphemers, however, Aramaic scholars have been able to confirm from his ossuary that Jesus's middle intital is indeed "H." which lets a lot of people off the hook. Yes, I'm talking about you, Clovis.

Hotel Elrod Grand Opening in San Diego: We've Got the Video!

Emails have been flooding in since we posted the story on Elrod's ill-fated, 4 year long quest for action in Greenwich Village during the mid-80's. One email was a marriage proposal from Yolanda of Satsuma, FL, who said her current marriage to a Death Row inmate was losing its appeal. Most of them, though, were along the lines of "Wait a minute, you mean Elrod was out chasing tail the whole time he was supposed to be studying architecture?" Well, to those of you out there who may be doubting the quality of Elrod's education or his grasp of architectural complexities, we offer this swift rebuttal. Click on the link below to see the Grand Opening of his masterpiece, The Hotel Elrod, in San Diego, CA. This 300-hundred room beauty features Elrod's signature "Double-Cantilevered Vaulted Atrium," tons of other flourishes and curliques, and a vibrating bed in every room. Email the Double Wide Travel Department today to make your reservations for a dream stay at The Hotel Elrod!

http://cgi.jacksonville.com/multimedia/video/060417105144.shtml

Why we like it out West

As Momma would say 'They's just a Sense of Bigness' out here in the West.  We ain't crowded on top of our neighbors such as the plight a those poor HongKonganians.  Far's I'm concerned ya taint really free unless ya can piss off the front porch without disturbin the neighbors.

Wanna know what a 1/8 ton of Silly Putty looks like?

Of course you do.

Henry Moore Sculpture Stolen, Doublewide Contributor's Alibi "Weak"

The art world is in mourning today as a Henry Moore sculpture worth an estimated 5 million dollars was stolen from a London backyard. "You can't just leave shit like this lying around," said Scotland Yard spokesman Thigby Prince. "I haven't seen people this upset since the 6th time that Munch painting was stolen. David Bowie looks like he done thowed a rod."  Due to the abstract nature of the art, police say they hold out little hope of recovering Moore's masterwork. "Artists would do themselves a favor if they made art that looked like something," Det. Prince said, "I mean, I'm on the phone with the dispatcher and I'm telling him be on the look out for a, well it's kind of a, om, it's a big reclining, er,...We had an Arp go missing a couple of years back and I was just like "Fuck it." If this was a Thomas Kincaid painting we'd have it back in 15 minutes." Police on this side of the pond agree that improvements need to be made in their ability to locate stolen art. "Last year someone stole a Picasso and I had to issue an Amber Alert when the piece was clearly from his "Blue Period," said NYPD's Frank La Rizzo, "it caused a lot of confusion and it cost us in those critical first hours."

Police have interviewed noted Doublewide Salon art critic Elrod in the disappearance and found his alibi to be less than convincing. "I was at home with my 2X4s all night. Swear to God. And then, you know, I walked across the Salt Flats to get a pack of smokes."