the double wide salon

I second that erection

Well, Well, Well,

Guns, Down Syndrome, forced pregnancy, Oil Drilling unabated and unabashedly hotter than Ted Stevens, Miss Wasilia 1984 has ascended the high throne winning the Dick Cheney in Drag contest in a "come from behind" secret rendezvous with McHorny.

Yes Clovis is in need of a Brazilian and a plane ticket to the twin cities. I done talked to Recil and Lonnie and they agree with Mr. Johnson Cox from Dickville Georgia, "that woman won't have no problem getting things to stand at attention.

this one's just a little too easy

Happy Fourth of July!!!

 

Jesse Helms, Conservative Force in the Senate, Dies at 86
By STEVEN A. HOLMES
Published: July 5, 2008

Jesse Helms, the former North Carolina senator whose courtly manner and mossy drawl barely masked a hard-edged conservatism that opposed civil rights, gay rights, foreign aid and modern art, died early Friday. He was 86.

DW- R.I.P.

Is Friday Dammit- Gitya ass on the TRAIN

I remember when Poot, Alvie, and I would pop lock after school, and the afternoon commuters would throw change at us really hard.

It's Time To Break The Silence

What's the elephant in the room here at the salon? BACK SURGERY!? Freakin' BACK SURGERY!? More like... FRONT SURGERY! He made me swear, but what kinda friend would I be if I kept his secret... Ladies and Gentlemen and Ladies that look like Gentlemen and Gentlemen that look like ladies, I offer the first post surgery photo of our new and improved Grand Editor Pootina

If My Nose Were Full Of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You

HGLIII, can you clarify the dogma nd epistomology of dog leg psuedo sex? thanks and Glod Bess

Sex doll for Alvie protects your leg from hump attack

2007/04/20 

Is your Alviedog in heat and humping anything it can wrap its horny little legs around?

Are you constantly having to pry your promiscuous Alvie off the legs of guests, parents and members of your church?

You can protect your leg from a hump attack by getting ScruffyPoot a Hotdoll.

It's easy, all you should do is to buy a sex doll for dogs.

The AlvieDog Sex doll is shaped like a dog and it'll allow your tension-filled Elrod to go to town as much as his little heart desires, humping away until he passes out in exhaustion, leaving a wispy coil of friction-singed dog-fur smoke wafting into the air.

                                                       

                                                                     

          

More on Clovis Grieving

Two  men are detained after Fox news employee assaulted

By John Branton of The Columbian

March 27

Vancouver, Wash. Vancouver police detained two homeless men in downtown Vancouver Monday night after one allegedly punched a Fox News 12 employee in the face and the other pulled a knife on a crowd of bystanders.

Officers were called to Sixth and Main streets about 8:45 p.m., said Vancouver Police Officer Patrick Kennedy.

A news crew from KPTV-TV, Portland's Fox network affiliate, had been working on a story in their van when two intoxicated men walked up and began harassing them, Kennedy said. When the men began pounding on the van, a Fox employee told them to leave.

Clovis then punched the news employee in the face.

That's when a crowd of bystanders ran up to pull the transients away from the news crew.

"One of the transients pulled a knife out and started swinging it at people," Kennedy said. "Nobody got cut."

When police arrived, they detained Clovis nearby at East Eighth and C streets.

At The Columbian's press time, officers were interviewing the suspects, who were identified by the victims and witnesses. Their names weren't available. They hadn't been arrested.

Kennedy said the news employee who was assaulted was treated at the scene and wasn't seriously hurt. One alleged assailant was treated at a hospital for a minor facial cut.

The alleged Clovis, who punched the news employee may face a misdemeanor assault charge. The one with the knife could face felony charges, Kennedy said.

Clovis' Grieving Process

I know many of you are concerned about my grieving process... Well here's how I'ma dealing with it...

Suburban Shepherd Charged With Cruelty

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Filed at 3:13 p.m. ET

Jessup, GA. (AP) -- A man who kept 77 sheep in his suburban home was charged Wednesday with 30 counts of misdemeanor animal cruelty.

Lewis Crews, 43, was being held at the Wake County jail in lieu of $30,000 bail, police Detective Joey Best said.

Crews surrendered the flock to animal control officers Monday after police found some sheep grazing on artificial flowers in the town cemetery in Jessup, a bedroom community of Hahira.

Thirty of the sheep were euthanized because of various health problems. In addition, sheep bones and carcasses were found in Crews' yard.

Veterinarian Kelli Ferris, who examined the flock, said some of the animals' hooves had never been trimmed, causing infections that led the sheep to walk on their knees.

Crews kept some of the younger sheep on the ground floor of his house and kept the others in pens in the yard, authorities said.

Crews denies abusing the animals. He told The News & Observer of Raleigh on Tuesday that he was overwhelmed by the number of lambs born this year.

Crews, who said he has raised sheep for a decade, called the animals ''relaxing to be around.''

''It's like in Florida, you can swim with the dolphins. If you can get sheep to follow you, it might be a similar experience. Oh, and my mama's dead.''

Passionate Conservatism

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich acknowledged he was having an extramarital affair even as he led the charge against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he acknowledged in an interview with a conservative Christian group.

''The honest answer is yes,'' Gingrich, a potential 2008 Republican presidential candidate, said in an interview with Focus on the Family founder James Dobson to be aired Friday, according to a transcript provided to The Associated Press. ''There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards. There's certainly times when I've fallen short of God's standards.''

Gingrich argued in the interview, however, that he should not be viewed as a hypocrite for pursuing Clinton's infidelity.

''The president of the United States got in trouble for committing a felony in front of a sitting federal judge,'' the former Georgia congressman said of Clinton's 1998 House impeachment on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. ''I drew a line in my mind that said, 'Even though I run the risk of being deeply embarrassed, and even though at a purely personal level I am not rendering judgment on another human being, as a leader of the government trying to uphold the rule of law, I have no choice except to move forward and say that you cannot accept ... perjury in your highest officials.''

Widely considered a mastermind of the Republican revolution that swept Congress in the 1994 elections, Gingrich remains wildly popular among many conservatives. He has repeatedly placed near the top of Republican presidential polls recently, even though he has not formed a campaign.

Gingrich has said he is waiting to see how the Republican field shapes up before deciding in the fall whether to run.

Reports of extramarital affairs have dogged him for years as a result of two messy divorces, but he has refused to discuss them publicly.

Gingrich, who frequently campaigned on family values issues, divorced his second wife, Marianne, in 2000 after his attorneys acknowledged Gingrich's relationship with his current wife, Callista Bisek, a former congressional aide more than 20 years younger than he is.

His first marriage, to his former high school geometry teacher, Jackie Battley, ended in divorce in 1981. Although Gingrich has said he doesn't remember it, Battley has said Gingrich discussed divorce terms with her while she was recuperating in the hospital from cancer surgery.

Gingrich married Marianne months after the divorce.

''There were times when I was praying and when I felt I was doing things that were wrong. But I was still doing them,'' he said in the interview. ''I look back on those as periods of weakness and periods that I'm ... not proud of.''

Gingrich's congressional career ended in 1998 when he abruptly resigned from Congress after poor showings from Republicans in elections and after being reprimanded by the House ethics panel over charges that he used tax-exempt funding to advance his political goals.

happy birfday alvie we luv u

From all of us here at the double wide and our millions of readers.

Happy 13th birthday alvie.